It All Goes By So Quickly
Happy 18th Birthday, Cora
I can’t believe I am now the father of an adult. How did we get here? 18. The oldest is 18! Damn. I am old.
18 is big. I didn’t realize it when I turned 18. Sure, I knew it was a milestone. But, I didn’t grasp how young I actually still was. Think about it. At 18, you’re closer to being born than you are to a mortgage and 2 kids. You have everything right in front of you at 18. You can make mistakes and still have time to rectify them. You’re still capable of wishing and hoping because you’re still ignorant about reality.
By 18, my dad had imparted so much wisdom. I just didn’t know it. Time is a funny thing, though. Knowing when Cora would turn 18 was easy. And I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to give her all the wisdom I had accumulated, most of it from my dad. More importantly, I wanted her to understand the significance of it.
So, 5 years ago, I started to write down all the things I had learned and all the things I wished I had known at 18. Then, 3 years ago, in Greensboro, NC I found the perfect vessel for all this knowledge.
I gave Cora this book, along with a few other hand-picked items, to mark her 18th birthday. One day, maybe I’ll share all the content here for all to read. But for now, I’ll share only the intro page.
My favorite English teacher, Mrs. Louise Bricklin, wanted me to be a writer. I obviously never became a writer. But I did write a lot and really enjoyed putting together the right combination of words to express ideas.
In 1999, before any of you were even an idea of a person, I had the idea of writing a book of things I wanted you to know. It started out as a list of advice. Then it became anecdotes and funny stories.
In 2023, on a soccer trip to North Carolina, I found this notebook in a small store in downtown Greensboro. It was perfect. I loved the smell of the paper and the leather. And Ben Franklin's quote was just too perfect.
Shortly after returning from the trip, I started writing down all the things I wanted you to know.
Cora, happy 18th birthday! Pass it on to John when he's 18. And John, pass it on to Ellis when she's 18.
With love - your biggest fan, dad.
Man, I hope she becomes what she wants in life and lives that life fully. I hope she feels sadness. And I hope she feels the warmth that can only come from someone loving you with their whole heart. To feel both is to know how delicate the human heart is, and the power we have over others. It’s a reminder of why we should have empathy and kindness.
What am I even writing? As if I could will her to choose a path. No. If there is one thing I’m sure of, Cora will always choose her own path and make her own decisions. Just like I raised her.